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I think you're having a hard time getting it. Someone below mentioned that you might be identifying too closely with the teen, and I think that be right. Your wife leaving you stranded hurt your feelings, yes but look at the facts: You are an adult, she is not your caretaker nor mother, you are capable of finding a train/taxi/bus/friend without personal danger to get yourself and the home, and the teen needed a responsible adult to get him/her home safely (read: The teen didn't need MOM to get him/her home, nor both of you only one is needed). Her leaving like that was an inconvenience to you, but in the context of a volatile situation with the teen it should not be viewed as a personal affront to YOU. Only an inconvenience. So that's why I think you're whining. You could even consider it a vote of confidence from your wife she needed to distance from the teen, and trusted you to be adult enough and responsible enough to handle the situation. And you did. The "big kid" reference is just a cliche it's not a criticism. Looking to Lick a womens Asshole. In my part of the world, there's a common saying: "I'm a big kid, I can figure it out," meaning that I'm an adult and don't need a mommy to tell me how to do something. My husband often uses that when I forget to thaw something out for dinner and I have to work late. He cooks for himself or goes to Burger, and does not complain. You mentioned that you both have a duty to act as adults, and not like a 12yo. That is correct. BOTH of you. She ran away like a 12yo, but so are you by shifting the focus of this problem onto how hurt YOU are by being left behind. You being left is inconsequential. How your family handles arguments is the issue that needs to be addressed. Do you not how, while you're trying to be "fair," that the are playing you and your wife against each other??? And you fell right into it. When your wife ran off, you're turning on her with the "she left me!" complaint instead of manning up to stabilize the argument while mom cools her heels. Last, there is no "fairness" between parents and. What mom and dad say, goes. Period. Doesn't matter whether it's fair or not. Unless you enforce that attitude at all times, the continue to play you both against each other.
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